To go? Or not to go?

Again, my school friends are planing a get-together. Again, I don’t want to go. Sigh!

I mean this time I didn’t refuse with an apology and an excuse immediately. I really don’t have an excuse. I am thinking of one. I am thinking I should join them and should go out with them. It’s really bad that I never go with them.

Every time, they say you are always busy or you have an excuse, you don’t want to be in contact, blah blah.  Honestly, neither I am busy nor do I have an excuse this time. It’s just that I am being lazy. I have been staying home from a few months and now I don’t feel like going out for lunch or dinner. Even I didn’t go to my best friend’s place. I invited her at my home. And now, one of my school friend texted me and asked If I am free the next week? So they could plan accordingly. I haven’t replied yet. I don’t have any excuse. I am thinking what to say now. Should I say Oh! I am very busy next week, won’t be able to show up? Or should I join them this time, to have a good time and refreshing good old memories?

Hmmm I am thinking. But the problem is I feel somewhat awkward in such hangouts. I mean meeting someone after a really long time, and acting like really good friends is difficult. At least I am not good at pretending. My face expressions clearly tell that I am not enjoying and I am not at all interested in their boring conversation. I can’t talk too much about random stuff. In-fact, I am not good at gossiping, and that makes me boring. I can’t just have fun when I am feeling uncomfortable. I don’t really have a lot to talk about, I mean I don’t have updates and news. And the most important, I can’t laugh too much, specially on stupid jokes and weird gossips. And yeah, I don’t eat much. I couldn’t find a good reason to go…..

Still, I think I should go. I am not an introvert. But I don’t like hang outs and parties much. I like to be with one or two people at a time, rather than a whole group of people whom you haven’t met from years. Never mind. I gotta do something good while I am free at home. I should try making things better.

I have replied her that I am free. Lets see…

P.S I should seriously think about some activity or hobby, something worth doing.

Bless You!

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